This script was commissioned by two parents as a comedy sketch for their daughters to use during the BBC Children in Need in 2019!
Kim: OMG Jenny, look at these bozos. This is going to be sooo easy. Everyone else takes it way too seriously.
Jenny: Right, and since we don’t care, we’ll be more natural. We got this.
Kim: It was such a great idea to enter one of these. We’re gonna get SO many Tik Tok followers if we’re pageant winners. (Poses as if making face at cell phone)
Jenny: Our routine is going to (she trips a bit) kill.
Kim: Let’s practice once more. So (doing the motions) – strut, strut, turn, pose.
Jenny: (doing the motions) Strut, butt, uh… snap
Kim: No, no, pay attention! How do you not know this yet??
Jenny: Sorry. Nerves. Nervous.
Kim (Demonstrating): Strut, strut, turn (turns into a wall)
Jenny: Oh, and then, twist, twist, spin, and (staggers)
Kim and Jenny (doing the motions as they say it in unison): Twist and spin and spin and then—
(Both are stumbling now.)
Jenny (making faces as she says each word): Smile. Silly. Shy. Surprised.
Kim: Alright, prop time!
(Both girls grab a prop and strike a couple poses with it. Jenny’s must be a long object such as a baton, bat, shovel, or stick.)
Kim: Yeah, I think we’re ready. Let’s go –
(They both walk into each other and stumble back.)
Jenny: That girl is glaring at us.
Kim: She’s just jealous.
Kim (turns towards glaring girl): You’re going down, clown.
Jenny (turns towards glaring girl while holding a prop with which she accidentally whacks Kim, resulting in Kim falling to the ground.)
Jenny: Kim? Kim?
Kim (from floor): I think my leg fell off.